When we’re operating from fear, we can make our worlds really small with self-imposed limitations. Not allowing ourselves to make mistakes is one of the ways we do this. Once we can acknowledge that we are here to learn and to experiment and try then we can remove all the harsh repercussions that we make up for ourselves. Even if they don’t “look” good.
Good things to know:
We will waste, there will be waste, there will be moments to clear the decks and start from scratch. That’s natural. Without thought, that’s a natural process. Clearing up, clearing out. The freedom to scratch everything and start over is a freedom we have been conditioned out of because we think everything needs to be preserved, not wasted – it’s a fear of being emptied. A hoarding of things, thoughts, processes, ways of doing things which in themselves become limiting and restricting to us.
We lose the ability, ease and simplicity of stepping out of the box we made. We lose the ability to even see that we can. Throwing out the box completely is a necessary and basic life option that needs to be available and visible to us in all circumstances. The ability to start afresh is so liberating; holding on to things, ideas, creations, even holding on to momentum needs to be seen through for the limitation that it is. There’s great freedom in that.
We lose the ability, ease and simplicity of stepping out of the box we made. We lose the ability to even see that we can.
We will try new things and they will have to come up against the conditioning to always be in ‘clear the decks’ mode. We will get messy and hoard again, maybe less so, maybe more so, but the freedom to allow that to happen is also something to come up against.
To not be limited by any way of doing things, of living, of being, to have no concept of good and bad is to live from a place of freshness and true freedom without self-imposed limitation. The freedom to get messy, to not be on top of it, to let things die, dissolve, disintegrate is also a necessary option that we sometimes lose sight of. To let go of the idea that it’s up to you to keep things alive, to keep things afloat is so liberating.
Trying to reach an end point is another self-imposed limitation that sometimes stifles us out of being true and free and truly creative. Trying to finish the article, or finish the game, or have something wrapped up in a bow – all done. That’s the conditioned behavior of schooling. Where nothing is about the process, the validity of the process and the creativity of the process for itself, in itself without the end result being the holy god we worship.
Working out is something that really falls into this conditioning too. When we’re trying to achieve a certain look and a certain routine or a certain consistency of how to do things; we’re operating from a desired future image. As opposed to being open to and sensitive to and listening to what the body needs, wants, enjoys at any given moment which is so different, varying and unpredictable.
Trying to stick to a routine is one of these things that really stifles our ability to be open and in tune with the moment. The same can be said about food, we can get so in our heads about how we’re eating, what we’re eating, when we’re eating. There’s such an overwhelming amount of contradictory information out there which can paralyze us from being able to tune in to our own body’s needs and unique ways of doing things which may be completely new and undiscovered, unknown to us.
The ability to step outside the box is the essence of freedom. To not be confined to any way, to any structure no matter how holy that structure is. To not be confined by conditioning, by gender, by other people’s opinions, by possibilities that are seen but instead to be open to the unseen, the dark, the abyss outside the box.
The abyss is freedom. When we can see that no amount of security is worth losing our freedom for, that no amount of security is even real, then our sense of self is free to expand beyond what we thought was possible. Beyond the ideas we have about life, about ourselves, about where we’re going, and how we’re going there.
It’s good to question everything. Every habit, every “way of doing things”, every template given to you, it’s good to be on the edge of life in this way, to not be confined to the self-imposed limitations society, culture, and religion have pummeled us with. To live on that edge means to be alone and to root in our own sovereignty. To not be defined by anything outside of us.
Our own existence, our own life, is our direct teacher and to be directed to that and by that is the utmost gift and privilege of life. To know in our bones that our life, our existence, our birthright is our own sovereignty which is independent, truly sovereign, truly free of anything outside of us.
And to have the strength and the power and the willingness to grow feet under our sovereign hearts, our sovereign being is the privilege of a lifetime. To come against all the self-imposed limitations in our own psyche and to reckon with that is not for the faint of heart. To admire ourselves, our heart and to acknowledge our courage and sacrifice for following our heart is more than okay.
We need to be your own hero. Our own guide, our own best friend, our own lover, our own cheerleader. Not in the superficial immature way but in the real, true, to the core of us, in our guts way.