You don’t need to rush.
Let things take their time.
Take their shape.
Reveal themselves to you.
There’s no shortage of anything.
You’re already home.
Already good.
Already loved.
Beneath the need to make a beautiful home or have beautiful clothes is a deeply hurt and deeply scared child who was deeply wounded for her utter simplicity. She was not loved as a child by her mother or father who were too busy screaming out for love themselves.
She was not met.
Was not held.
In fact, she was doing most of the holding and the meeting of those around her herself. The big adults. The lost, wounded adults. And so this big responsibility was thrown at her.
She wanted the child’s life. The cozy home. The nice clothing. The friend’s birthday party. But everyone around her was too self-involved to see. To meet. To care for. What so deserved to be seen, met and cared for.
And so now she wants to make it all happen. But that turns into suffering. Mental noise. The suffering of always striving for the next thing to add. The next thing that will make a more cozy home, a more beautiful life. And there’s nothing wrong with any of those things in themselves.
But when there’s an unmet need or hurt below the surface of it, that needs to be seen, met, held. So that there can be a real relaxation. A real trusting and slowing down. Not a hectic mental cacophony. Let’s get this quick, it’s not good enough, I need to make it better. And the effort and striving for perfection, for validation.
And really noticing trying to impress others in that too. Wanting mom and family to see how beautiful you’ve made your home so that they finally admit to your worthiness of love. Look, I’m lovable. Look!
And not shaming the one who’s looking for that validation either. Not making her wrong. But really honoring her and what she’s been through. Validating her experience. Yes, it was scary, it was crazy, still is with the family, yes, it was a lot.
She’s so overwhelmed by it all.
Let’s really give her space.
Give her safety.
Give her love, compassion.
Gentleness.
Have her back.
Slow down for her.
She’s the hurt wolf in the wolf pack. She’s in front. She sets the pace.
You deserve to have every beautiful thing in the world. You see the beauty because you are that beauty.
Beauty recognizes beauty.
And the more you slow down, the more you’ll see yourself everywhere already.
Your beauty.
Your effortless beauty.